Who was she?
by jamestrash
Summary: Snape bites off more than what he can chew when he spies on Lily Evans' bedroom. This is Jily through and through.


**Okay hey everyone! This is my first story on here and ever actually. Please be nice! (Or don't. Any criticism is welcome.) and I am in love with James Potter! Please do read and review.**

 **disclaimer: I own nothing except my feelings for James Potter!**

 **Who was she?**

Summer had been going slowly for Severus. He tried hard to distract himself, from his wretched life that could not seem to get any worse and his aching heart. He was miserable. Unreservedly, wholeheartedly miserable. In another life he would've been outside his sorry excuse for a childhood home, spending lazy warm afternoons with Lily. Lily, his Lily, who had beauty exuding out of every cell of her being. She was his personal harbinger of happiness and all things pure, until… she wasn't.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen her at all this summer. Oh, he saw her alright. Unfortunately, it was nowhere close to how he would've wanted to see her. He reasoned hard with himself before he did what he ultimately deemed necessary. The war was on, she needed surveillance, she wasn't safe and numerous variations of this argument were drawn up by Severus, in his defence. But in his heart of hearts he knew that it was simply to look at her and take in her beauty every single day.

He knew it was creepy, a crime even but he has never cared about muggle mores and regulations. He knew Lily would gut him from head to toe if she knew, but his "reason" and greed(in all honesty) won over that fear. For the greater good he mused.

But he got his comeuppance pretty quickly. A little bit of rain in a parched land doesn't satisfy the thirsty, it merely agitates them further. He saw her, all hours of the day… she was so close yet so far. He had charmed Lily Evans' room to give him a glimpse into her life everyday, for two hours.

The magic itself hadn't been easy. It took Severus the better part of a month to figure it out. But the dark arts have the all answers… one only has to ask the right questions. He wished Lily understood the attraction the dark arts held for him. It made him powerful, finally feeling like he belonged, the world was at his feet.

He spent his afternoons dipped into the metal basin, taking him (almost) to Lily's room. He stood and watched, mesmerized as Lily went about her morning. Merlin knew he could spend his life merely watching her read a cauldron safety pamphlet. He hadn't actually ever been to her room before, so he took in his surroundings leisurely the first few times. She loved pictures, her wall was covered with both muggle and wizard kinds. Lily with some witches, whose names Severus couldn't be bothered to learn, her cat, Mcgonagal, at the slug club and even one with that half breed Hagrid. He looked at a picture of her and Petunia with distaste. How they both were born of the same womb he often wondered.

The pictures that made him seethe with sheer anger were the ones she took with those damned Marauders. He begrudgingly accepted how happy she looked in each of those, especially the one with Black. Her picture with Lupin was also full of laughter and joy as they lazed around near the Lake. The picture of Lily putting her arms around Pettigrew as his eyes widened was the one that evoked the most emotion out of him. He couldn't believe that there'll come a day when he'll envy that vermin. But he noted the silver lining in this whole affair, she had no pictures with Potter, the bane of Severus' existence. Her friendship with the marauders had blossomed in the past school year but Potter and her still never saw eye to eye. Potter seemed to have stopped saying a word to her altogether after that fateful day when Severus threw his one shot at happiness away.

Those three unworthy fools had visited her this summer. Time and again. They had all come up to her room. Severus had seen her frolic in their presence, she seemed to have filled up whatever void he hoped he had left in her life. A void that may have someday translated into their reconciliation.

Severus sighed and looked at the metal basin, it was time. He dipped his head and was pulled into the familiar scene. He looked around before comfortably sitting in a chair in the corner of Lily's room. She came out of the bathroom in a huff, panicked and stressed. Severus sat up alerted, ready for action in case of any catastrophe, but she sat in front of the dressing table, fumbling with her long red tresses. She began to apply some makeup.

Severus was truly mesmerized. Not once this summer had he seen her do this. She didn't need any of it anyway, but just seeing her in her element thrilled Severus to no end. She was in a rush, that much was clear to Severus, as she kept whipping her head back to check the time in the clock behind her. It is then that Severus noticed what she was wearing.

In all of the eight years that he had known her, she had not once dressed the way she had today. She was wearing a scarlet dress that was only held up by the strings on her shoulders, so form fitting that all her shapely curves were visible. Severus didn't know much about dressing or women's fashion for that matter, but he knew that Lily putting on such a garb was not in character. She looked beautiful indeed, but something about this new development made him feel uneasy. He frowned.

She was done with her preening, and now sat fidgeting on the bed. Severus was filled with a deep sense of foreboding. As if on cue there was a knock on the door.

"Evans?" said a deep voice. There was no mistaking that voice. Severus gripped the edge of his seat. Hard. He gritted his teeth. It was all falling into place suddenly, Lily's change in character pricked him a million times more.

"Oh, just walk in James," said Lily breezily, as if she wasn't just twitching out of her skin a moment back. 'James', since when had that nincompoop become 'James' for her?

And he pushed the door and walked in. He looked as if he had just gotten off a broom. He was taller than what Severus remembered and paler too. His horrible hair stuck up in a million directions and his glasses were sitting crookedly on his disgusting smug face. However the thing that irked Severus the most was the smirk the bastard had on his face currently.

"Evans. Is this how you normally dress at home?" said Potter in his exceedingly cocky manner. Severus was sure Lily was going to hex him into oblivion.

"Oh, shut up, you," she said, smacking him hard on the arm. He didn't even wince. Severus was shocked. Who was this blushing gentle witch standing before him? Lily had always been a fiery passionate person but the passion Severus saw that moment was of a different kind altogether.

"I am not complaining Evans, but I think your mother would've been slightly more weary of leaving you alone here with me if she saw you right now," said Potter. The nerve of him! How dare he insinuate such blasphemy. There is no way Lily was going to let that slide.

"You met her?" asked Lily, her eyes twinkling. The day was full of surprises. Horrible, putrid surprises.

"I said hello to her while coming up, although she was on her way out," said Potter.

"I know." Said Lily. She was now wearing a smirk that was identical to Potter's. Severus couldn't believe his eyes. He hadn't even known that those two spoke. The atmosphere in the room was suddenly heated. These two had clearly done more than speaking. But Severus was in denial. He would to his last breath refuse to malign the image he has held of Lily.

"Wait a second. Is the house empty? Did you know she wasn't gonna be there Evans?" asked Potter, suddenly bumbling and running his hand through his hair. Lily's smile got wider at the sight. Severus began to think of all the things that could've gone wrong with her. Maybe she had been put under the imperius curse or maybe it was the polyjuice potion, there was no way this Lily Evans acting under her free will.

"Don't worry James. I've been alone with friends plenty of time before," said Lily. This would've relaxed Severus if it hadn't been for her tone. It wasn't one people used with _friends_.

"Haha, well okay. Er, how has your summer been Evans?" said Potter, clearly uncomfortable. Finally, thought Severus, she'll see what an awkward prat he is under that cool façade.

"Call me Lily," she said, somehow familiar enough with Potter to order him around.

"Erm, yes, how is it going though?" Potter tried again.

"I haven't called you here to talk about summer James. Bloody difficult it was to get hold of you too. Why haven't you come to see me?" said Lily. For a brief moment Severus saw a flash of the old Lily, his Lily, expressing her usual annoyance at Potter. But her words weighed heavily on Severus's heart. She wasn't annoyed with his presence, but his absence.

"I am sorry Evans," said Potter and began rubbing the back on his neck looking at the floor.

"Sit down James," said Lily, patting the place beside her on the bed. Severus felt bile rising in his stomach. Potter… on the same bed… as…his Lily… Severus felt faint.

Meanwhile Potter followed her directive. He was quiet. Too quiet. Without warning, Lily began raining kisses against his jaw and down his neck. Now Severus was inconsolable. There was no way that this was the Lily he knew and loved. This was someone else, an imposter. Lily would never—

Potter looked startled and tried to hold her back.

"What James? I've waited so long for this. You know how tough it is to make oneself come?" she said against Potter's vile lips. Severus couldn't believe his ears. Who was this girl? And where was his pure unsullied, innocent Lily?

"Evans, I'm trying to respect you here. Don't you want to have a conversation? Merlin, you make so hard for a bloke!" said Potter before giving in and devouring her lips.

If Severus could cry, he reckoned that would be the moment he would have. All sense of propriety and his own emotional wellbeing dictated that he should leave at that very moment, but he found himself glued to his spot, taking in his own annihilation.

Lily got up and dimmed the lights. She began unzipping her dress. Severus now panicked. There had been numerous times when he imagined and wished to know what Lily might look like underneath her robes, but fate was cruel, his wish was being fulfilled in the cruelest manner possible. But, he still sat there. He wanted to appreciate this imposter nonetheless.

"James I'm addicted to this now. And I am addicted to you. I was getting my regular doses. Do you know how I've survived summer without this? You can't fucking take it away," said Lily. Her voice sounded unlike anything he had ever heard coming from her before.

She lunged at Potter as soon as she got out of her dress taking him down with her. His legs were still hanging off the bed placed on the ground. Severus saw the beauty that she was, and his heart wept. Severus had been running from the fact, but today he knew, she would never be his in this lifetime. She, who had so readily exposed herself to Potter. Severus involuntarily shut his eyes. His heart probably couldn't take it anymore. But his head could, so he still sat there.

"You're going to fuck me like the whore that I am. And I am only your whore. Got that?" He heard her say. Severus winced.

"Evans let me get on top. I have this new thing I wanna try—"

"Potter, whose whore am I?" Lily practically shouted.

"Mine." Potter was panting.

"Who do I belong to, James?"

"You belong to me and no one else."

Severus could hear the bed creaking. He was numb now. The pain had left him. _He was broken_.

"You're the only man for me, James. I can't even imagine anyone touching me ever again. You own me now. All of me." Lily was whispering while that scum Potter grunted.

After what seemed like a century, or maybe several eons, the creaking stopped. Severus opened his eyes to see Potter wiping Lily down there, with a towel, while she was lying back on the pillows, eyes closed and sweaty. She had a jubilant expression on her face. She had never looked more beautiful to Severus.

"I am so glad you cornered me in that classroom last year. On the first day back too. Your apology was probably the worst speech I've ever heard and I followed Cornelius Fudge for quite some time," said Lily once Potter was lying back with her. He had covered them with a sheet.

"It wasn't half bad if it let me through your hymen, Evans," Potter quipped. Severus was beyond himself. No knowledge could've affected him anymore. That _wasn't_ his Lily.

"Shut up you fucking prat. I was hormonal and in the mood to experiment," she said. That _wasn't_ his Lily.

"Experimenting in the transfiguration classroom?"

"Some immediate experiments are indispensible for upgrading one's scholarly prowess."

"You were experimenting throughout the year though?"

"I happen to be good at it and why should I stop doing anything that I am good at?"

"Ah, Evans, I am sure it was all your work."

"My partner happened to be just as invested in unraveling the mysteries, I think? And anyway, practices makes perfect. We put in the work we're reaping the rewards now." That _wasn't_ his Lily.

"I don't know, Evans, I suppose I may get better results with another subject."

"Don't even think about it, Potter. You're mine now. I want to show you something. Sometimes muggles get stuff written permanently on their bodies. It's called a tattoo. I want to show you mine."

"That's…"

"Yes. Your signature." That _definitely_ _wasn't_ his Lily.

Severus closed his eyes again. He couldn't bear to see the imprint of his mortal enemy of the love of his life. There was no way he would be able to live after this. He had already made up his mind to obliviate himself lest he go mad with despondency. He got up. He was a man on a mission.

"Lily. I think it's time we told everyone about us. This clearly isn't fun and games anymore."

"I don't care what you call us in public as long as we are doing this exclusively with each other. I don't know what it is about you. I am so wrapped up in you." That _wasn't_ his Lily.

"You have me eating out of the palm of your hands Evans. I honestly think that you've inhabited every waking thought of mine since we were 11. If only fifteen year old James Potter could see this. Actually no, he was one disgusting bloke. You did it my boy."

"School will have a field day." That _wasn't_ his Lily.

But then, _who was she_?


End file.
